The Sound of Pulling Heaven Down
by LovelyVerity
Summary: Clare's head began to feel light as she felt the room spin around her. Leaning forward she put her head between her hands. "This isn't happening, This can't be real." A short story of an accident that could change Clare's and Eli's life forever
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi :/ I know super bummer.

* * *

"_I'm able to breathe a sweet relief_

_Now that you're here for me_

_A northern degree dove into me_

_Now I'm recovering_

_I only want you to see_

_My favorite part of me_

_And not my ugly side_

_And not my ugly side, ugly side_"

- "Ugly Side" by Blue October

Clare stared at her feet. The waiting room made her numb from the coldness of the hospital Hallways. But she didn't make an effort to keep herself warm. Her school jacket was left forgotten on the seat next to her. At that moment, Clare didn't want to think…She didn't want to feel. The cold brought a nice numbness to her otherwise troubled heart.

She waited for the doctor to come out, to give her some news, any news! But so far she had been left waiting in silence by herself.

When one of the doctors finally came out, she stood right up from her chair.

"How is he doing," Clare tried to keep her voice even.

"Are you a family member?" the doctor asked.

"No, I'm not-"

"I need to speak with a relative" and with that he retreated back down the hallway.

It unnerved Clare not knowing what was going on. She never felt so helpless.

.

.

"_Eli, why do you like me?" _

_Eli turned to look at Clare, they were both laying on his bed. Clare couldn't help but feel so comfortable laying there next to him, to be this close to someone was a new feeling to her. _

"_What brought this on?" he asked, slowly caressing her cheek. _

_She gave him a shrug. "I'm just , you know, curious." _

"_Beside your undeniable Beauty, you are also smart, and …" he took a paused, and gave her one of his infamous smirks._

"_And?" Clare said in anticipation._

"…_and because every time I see you, I feel like kissing you." _

_Clare didn't know how to respond, so she leaned over and kissed him._

.

.

"_I need to find it!" an enraged Eli screamed, as he searched through his locker and book bag. _

"_Eli calm down, its just a picture." Clare said. _

"_It's the only picture I have of her! I need to find it," Eli was hysterical. _

_Clare reached into her backpack and pulled out a photo of Eli's ex-girlfriend, Julia. _

"_Here," she said shoving it into his face. "It fell from your locker, I would of given it to you sooner, but you freaked out before I had the chance." _

_Eli took the photo, but stood quiet. _

"_You still aren't over her are you?" Clare knew the answer, as much as it pained her. _

"_..its not that simple, Clare," Eli told her, not wanting to meet her eyes. _

"_We have been together for awhile, I figured that meant you were ready to let go," Clare tried to keep her voice down, but her frustration still showed in her voice. _

_Eli slammed his locker closed, "I'm with you aren't I?" his words were angry. _

"_So I'm second best?" Clare shook her head and closed her locker " I'm late to class." she started to walk away._

"_Clare, hold on," Eli grabbed her arm before she got to far down the hallway. "I didn't mean it to sound like you are second best. I really care about you, please just understand me a little."_

"_I'm trying Eli, I really am." _

"_Don't give up on me, at least not yet." he pleaded with her, and Clare's heart couldn't help but melt for him._

_Clare gave a sigh. "I think I'm losing my sanity." _

_He leaned forward and place a small kiss on her forehead, _

"_Its cause you can't get enough of me." Eli gave her his signature smile._

"_I'll be late to class for getting to much of you!"_

.

.

Clare wiped a tear from her cheek, as she stared down the hallway, toward where she saw the Doctors take Eli, through those double doors.

"Clare?"

She looked up to find Adam standing next to her. In a split second she was in his arms, crying in desperation.

"It was an accident-he didn't- …I couldn't " Clare said between sobs.

Adam patted her back trying to comfort his friend. But at the same time worried, about his injured friend.

_._

_._

_Adam walked up to the dot, he could already spot Eli sitting at one of the tables in the far corner. After making his way inside he walked up to him. _

"_Hey," Adam said in greeting as he took the empty seat in front of Eli. _

_Eli gave him a glance and then turned his attention back to his book. _

"_Did Clare send you?" Eli asked after a few minutes of silence. _

"_She didn't have too, you been acting pretty out of it. What's going on Man?" Adam hated getting in the middle of things. But Eli was his bud, and buds help each other out. _

_Eli ran his fingers through his hair, and gave a big sigh. _

"… _Julia's death anniversary is coming up, and its been messing with my head lately." _

"_I thought you had made your peace with her passing." Adam figured that's why him and Clare had started going out. _

"_I really thought I did…" Eli stared at the table. "I shouldn't have brought Clare into this." _

"_phss! To late for that, you guys wouldn't have been able to resist not being together." Adam said. _

"_Clare has been wonderful, she took me back knowing things weren't going to be easy. I hate that I can't be honest with her, …I can't be as open with her with out hurting her"_

_Adam looked at his friend, "You can't blame yourself forever Eli. Make your peace with what happen with Julia, ..it's time to let her go."_

_Eli looked up and Adam met his eyes, they showed a trouble person fighting for an answer. _

"_But you have to be willing to do so….Clare can only be so understanding." _

_Adam got up and walked out of the café. Leaving Eli to his thoughts. Adam knew that he could only help his friend so much. This was something Eli needed to come to terms with on his own. _

.

.

"Have the doctors told you anything?" Adam asked Clare once she calmed down a little.

"They won't tell me anything, they will only talk to a family member." Clare's eyes where bloodshot from all the crying.

"I'll call his parents," Adam said.

.

.

"_Clare wait up!"_

_Clare turn to see Adam yelling across the school parking lot. Adam ran up to her, breaking a sweat in the process. _

"_Hey Adam, what's going on?" _

"_I talked to Eli, and he seems to be having a hard time," Adam explain trying to catch his breath. "You know it's Julia's Death anniversary soon?"_

"_No I didn't, It's that what's been going on?" Clare asked._

"_I think so, the dude seems to be having a hard time getting over it." _

_Clare look at her feet, she didn't know what to think. Eli still had pretty strong feelings for Julia. _

"_Do you think the fact the we are together is hurting Eli?" Clare asked. _

"_I don't know the answer to that, this is you guys issue. What you guys feel is between both of you," Adam never liked getting in the middle of things. _

"_Well, I know what I feel…I just don't know what he is feeling." _

"_There really isn't much left to do then to confront him." Adam told his friend. _

_Clare nodded, knowing that it was exactly what she needed to do._

.

.

Both Adam and Clare sat side by side in the hospital waiting area. Having Adam with her calmed Clare's nerves a little, but her heart felt heavy, and the worry still consumed her.

Eli's parents had arrived 30 minutes ago, they where rushed by the doctors through the double doors as soon as they got there.

Clare's head began to feel light and the room felt like it was spinning. She leaned forward and put her head between her hands. "_This isn't happening," _she thought. "_This can't be real."_

"Clare?"

Adam's voice brought Clare back to her senses. And she turned to look at him.

"Can you tell me what happen?

_

* * *

_

AN: Please R&R! This was originally a one shot but it kept getting longer as I wrote, so this will be divided into 3 chapters. BTW, I have really bad grammar . I have read and revised this so many times, even so I probably didn't catch all my mistakes. Hope the story was still readable. You can follow me on twitter and tumblr under the user name LovelyVerity ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters...I'm not that awesome :/

* * *

_"Where do you go_  
_When the day is long_  
_And where does your heart beat _  
_And who is wrong_

_Why do I feel this way_  
_Why do I kneel_  
_How could I let it go_  
_Why do I feel_  
_Why do I feel_  
_Why" - "Let it Go" by Blue October_

.

.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Adam asked again thinking Clare hadn't heard him.

Clare tried to get her thoughts together.

"I went to find him, since he had skipped school today." She said wiping her nose. "I figured he was avoiding me, and I wanted to know what was going on. I ended up finding him in front of that comic book store you guys always go to."

.

.

_Clare took a deep breath and walked up to Eli. He was at the back of the store rummaging through the clearance comic books._

_"Found you, looks like you weren't hiding very well." Clare said to him._

_"I wasn't hiding," he said defensively._

_"Oh really, then why weren't you at school?" Clare questioned. She was surprised at his cold respond._

_"What's with the third degree? I just didn't feel like going." Eli was clearly irritated_

_by her presence._

_Clare wasn't an expert on relationships, but if she learned anything from being with KC_

_was that if boy acted like he didn't want you around, there was a reason for it._

_"I guess this is it huh?" Clare made sure she avoided his eyes,_

_'don't cry in front of him, don't cry in front of him' she told herself over and over,_

_she could already feel her eyes burning._

_"What are you talking about?" Eli asked, turning his attention to her._

_"I get it Eli, I've taken the hint. It's better that we figured this sooner then later." Clare knew she half meant what she said, but she wanted to get a rise out of him._

_"Taken the hint?" Eli looked at her in confusion._

_"You are pushing me away, avoiding me, and you haven't been honest with me lately." Clare trying to keep her tears at Bay. "If you don't want to be with me just come out an say it."_

_"Ok, yes, I admit I haven't been a very good boyfriend lately. But that doesn't mean I want us to break up. I've just been dealing with stuff . Now, can we not talk about this here, this is a public place after all." Eli's words showed no compassion, nothing that could reassure Clare that he truly cared._

_"By dealing with stuff you mean Julia?" Clare couldn't hold back anymore, she needed straight answers._

_"Clare, I thought you where being understanding." Eli said looking disappointed at her._

_Clare shook her head at him, she had been more then understanding._

_"I can't compete with some who is dead, Eli," Clare said exasperated._

_"Ok, I am stopping this conversation. You are clearly not thinking straight." Eli said._

_Clare took a big breath._

_"Do you love me?" she asked._

_"What? Are you seriously asking me this right now?" Eli said in disbelieve._

_Clare knew she was coming off a bit irrational, but she needed to know._

_"I am dead serious," she emphasize each word._

_For the first time since this conversation started, Eli look straight at her without avoiding her eyes._

_"Not now Clare, please not now." Eli pleaded with her._

_"Then when Eli? It's a simple yes or no." Clare wasn't dropping the subject._

_"Don't do this Clare," he said._

_"I'm tired of this, Eli," she said. "I love you with all my heart. See, I can say it."_

_He didn't say a word._

_"I understand if its hard to be happy knowing someone you love isn't with you. But it feels like you are not making an effort. Don't you see that this is creating a hole between us that keeps getting bigger….and I don't think I can pretend its not a big deal." Clare said, knowing what was coming next._

_'What are you saying?"_

_"You were right, maybe we should of stayed away from each other." Clare told herself to be strong, she could do this._

_"Clare, not now. I know I can't be completely honest with my feelings right now. But I do care, I truly do. Just give me more time." Eli held on to Clare's shoulders and tried to get her to understand him, but she turn her head away from him._

_"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't think my heart is strong enough."_

_She turned away, knowing that if she didn't leave now she would breakdown in front of him. Clare made her way outside as fast as she could. Holding her tears long enough to make it to the door. Once outside, she let a sob escape her. Tears clouded her vision as she made her way across the street._

_"CLARE!"_

_At the same time she heard her name being screamed out, she also heard a car honking to her left. But before she could make sense of what was happening. She felt someone push her forward. Clare felled to the ground and landed next to the sidewalk._

_But what she heard next if a sound she will never forget. It will be forever imprinted in her mind. The screeching of wheels when car made a sudden stop and the sound of a car hitting a body._

_Clare looked up only to find Eli laying on the ground, several feet away from her. He had obviously been hit._

_"Eli!" she practically screeched._

_She run over to him, put his head in her lap. His face was bloody and so was his shirt, but Clare couldn't see where the blood was coming from._

_"Help!" she screamed. "Somebody help us!"_

_"Clare," Eli's voice was faint and quiet._

_"I'm so sorry," She said caressing his cheek with one hand and holding his hand with the other. "I take it back, I take it back!"_

_But Eli had lost consciousness, and Clare didn't know if he had heard her._

_._

.

.

"I told him stuff I didn't mean, I stupidly ran out into incoming traffic. Eli pushed me out of the way of a car, only to be hit himself. Because of me, he is fighting for his life," Clare cried against Adam, as she told him what happened.

"It's okay, Clare," Adam reassured her, as he tried to wipe his own tears away. "Eli is strong, he'll be fine."

They held each other for comfort as they waited for news.

Finally Eli's mom emerge from the double doors with a tear stain face and a morbid expression.

* * *

AN: Thank you to my 2 lovely reviewers for chapter one, this Chapter is dedicated to you: themisfitsx and mcflyXlove. 3 3 The fact that you liked my story made my day. The next chapter will consist of flashbacks from Eli's point of view. As always, please leave a review. Your feed back is what gives me the inspiration to write ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own it, I just obsess over it :/

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_**"A slow strangle with your feet on the floor**_  
_**I've got 14 angels and we're sleeping alone**_  
_**In the back of a cave, where the rest of us go**_  
_**To feel normal**_

_**I call baby up. Leave me alone.**_  
_**I'm in pain but I won't let you Band-Aid my wound**_  
_**I am mad at a stage where I can't seem to handle my own**_

_**(can't even handle my)"**_

_**- "A Quite Mind" by Blue October**_  
.

.

_Eli looked at his watched, it was early in the morning, and he knew that Clare would be leaving for school soon. _

_At exactly 7:30 Clare made her way down her door steps._

_"So predictable," Eli said to himself. _

_He ran up behind her and grabbed her around the waist, making her squeal in surprise. _

_"Eli!" Clare shrieked, realizing it was just her boyfriend being his usual self. _

_" Good Morning Blue eyes."_

_"Good Morning to you too," she said turning around and giving him a good morning kiss. _

_"I should come meet you more often," he said. _

_"I think you should," she said in between kisses. "But as much as I'm enjoying this, my mom could come out any minute."_

_"Yea, dealing with parents first thing in the morning isn't my cup of tea," holding her hand he led her toward Morty. _

_"Wait," Clare said. "How about we don't go to school?"_

_Eli eyed her suspiciously "Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"_

_"What? You don't want to spend time with me?" Clare put a innocent expression on her face._

_"You make a very tempting request, and where exactly does Miss Edwards want to go, if not school?"_

_"Oh I don't know, your house? Your parents aren't home right?" she said with a mischievous grin._

_"You and me…alone in my house?" Eli was surprise at Clare's suggestion, and it showed in his voice. _

_"Don't get ahead of your self there," she said punching his arm playfully. "There will be no funny business, it'll be better then wondering around, nothing is open this early." _

_"My house it is then." he lead her toward Morty, opening the passenger door for her. _

_._

**.**

**.**

**" ...heart rate is dropping fast."**

**Eli heard voices around him. **

**"Eli," the paramedic lean over him shinning a light in his eyes. "Can you hear me?" **

**He could hear a siren and the movement of a vehicle underneath him. He faintly recognized that he was in an ambulance. **

**"He is loosing consciousness again," one of the paramedics said. **

**"Eli, this is going to burn a little," the paramedic closest to him shot an injection through his IV tube. **

**There was no time for Eli to feel the burn of the medicine. By the time it had made its way through his veins, He had already lost consciousness. **

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Clare Edwards was laying in his bed. Yea, they weren't doing anything, but he couldn't get over how beautiful she looked right next to him. He was a guy after all. _

"_Eli, why do you like me?" Clare asked, interrupting the comfortable silence they had going. _

"_What brought this on?" he slowly caressed her cheek, her skin was soft and warm. _

"_I'm just , you know, curious." _

"_Beside your undeniable Beauty, you are also smart, and-" he stopped himself mid sentence. _

"_And?" Clare's bright, innocent eyes looked up at him. He couldn't help but feel his heart flutter. _

"…_and because every time I see you, I feel like kissing you." _

_He must of said the right thing, since her reaction was to leaned over and kiss him._

_What he had said, although correct, wasn't what he truly wanted to say. He didn't know if he was ready to utter those words just yet. He had love one other person, and it didn't end well. But even so, Eli knew that he couldn't deny the strong feelings he was feeling for the girl currently laying in his arms. _

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_Eli ran down the stairs of his house. He was already late for homeroom. He ran into the kitchen to grab his keys from the the counter. He found his mom drinking her morning coffee before she headed out the door. _

"_Good morning," she said, taking a sip of her drink. _

"_Morning mom, I got run." he grabbed an apple from the fridge. _

"_Hold on a second, Elijah." she said, making Eli stop in his tracks. "I got a call from Julia's mom... there is going to be a service for Julia next weekend, she wanted to let you know in case you wanted to show up."_

_He knew Julia's death anniversary was coming up, he had avoided think about it. But hearing someone even mention anything related to Julia's death made it everything so raw again. _

_"Thanks for letting me know, got run now!"He tried to sound unaffected by the news. _

_Julia._

_He still remembered her smile…her laugh. _

_The way she would bite her pencils when she was thinking hard. _

…_.her tear stained face when she had left his house the night of the accident. _

_How he didn't think to chase after her. _

_How if he would of stopped her, even for a minute or 2, how it could have made all the difference._

_How much he felt he owed her..._

_... how he had failed her.  
_

_._

_._

_._

_Eli looked at Julia's photograph. After having the conversation with Clare, after the freak out he had over loosing said photograph, Eli couldn't help but rethink things. _

"_Julia, are you really looking down on me from heaven?" without realizing what he was doing, he had drove to the place where Julia had her accident. _

"_It's not fair Julia, you should be here with me."_

_It was moments like these that Eli dare to admit…that he was in pain. _

"_Want to know something? Not that you don't already know this," he said, still speaking to the photograph. "Clare, makes me feel…alive. But the worst is that it scares me. The thing with Fitz was a close call, but either way, one wrong move and Clare could of gotten hurt. I don't know if I could risk her getting hurt." _

_Eli looked at his surrounding, he was sitting in his hearse talking to a picture of his dead ex-girlfriend. Eli shook his head in disbelieve. _

"_I could never forget you, Julia," he ran a finger down the photograph, staring at Julia's smiling face. "but how do I move on? I can't seem to let you go…I want to be honest with Clare. I'm afraid she'll just get hurt because of me."_

_Eli had never been one to be so open and straight forward with his feelings. _

"_Want to know something else Julia? I think I'm falling in Love again. And that scares me the most."_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

"**We need to get him into the ER, he is loosing a lot of blood." **

**Eli wasn't sure where the most pain was coming from. His head wouldn't let him think straight and he was certain that his left arm was broken. He felt himself being wheeled somewhere, and even in his state of confusion, the smell of rubbing alcohol engulfed him, they had arrived at the hospital. **

"**We need to stabilize him," Eli heard someone say.**

**He remembered pushing Clare at of the way, and then getting hit himself. What had happened to Clare?  
**

"**Clare?" Eli said so faintly that the doctor was barely able to hear. **

"**Son, we are going try to get you all better, can you tell me what happened?"**

**But Eli didn't listening to the doctor. He could only think about Clare.**

"**Where is Clare?" this time Eli spoke louder using most of his energy in the process. **

"**Try not to over exert yourself there, Son," Eli heard the doctor tell him. "Do you know who he is talking about?" **

**The doctor asked the paramedic. **

"**There was a girl at the scene," the paramedic said. **

**Eli wanted to hear more, find out if Clare was okay, but the pounding in his head was getting unbearable. Eli fought to stay awake. But his body was fighting against him . 'i_s this how Julia felt_.' he couldn't help but think, before his body had shut down on him. **

**.**

**.**

_**.**_

_Eli needed time to think, so what better place then his favorite comic book store. Just the old comics and him, seemed like the perfect way to spend his time. _

_"Found you, looks like you weren't hiding very well." Clare said from behind him. Her being there surprised him, but her tone of voice annoyed him. _

_"I wasn't hiding," he wasn't, he just need to get away for a bit. _

_"Oh really, then why weren't you at school?" _

_"What's with the third degree? I just didn't feel like going." What was her problem? _

_"I guess this is it huh?" _

_"What are you talking about?" Eli asked, confused at her was it?_

_"I get it Eli, I've taken the hint. It's better that we figured this sooner then later." Clare said, her arms crossed in front of her. _

_"Taken the hint?" Eli didn't realize that he had been hinting at something. _

_"You are pushing me away, avoiding me, and you haven't been honest with me lately…If you don't want to be with me just come out an say it." Clare proclaimed._

_Eli couldn't help but mentally hit himself. He hadn't purposely been avoiding her. But without realizing it, he had became a little distant. He just needed more time to sort through stuff, he need to time to evaluate things. Only then did he know he could be fully open with Clare, and they can both leave the past behind them once and for all._

_"Ok, yes, I admit I haven't been a very good boyfriend lately. But that doesn't mean I want us to break up. I've just been dealing with stuff . Now, can we not talk about this here, this is a public place after all." Eli wanted to cut the subject short. _

_"By dealing with stuff you mean Julia?" _

_"Clare, I thought you where being understanding." Eli didn't expect her to throw the issue with Julia in his face. _

_Clare shook her head at him. _

_"I can't compete with some who is dead, Eli," Clare said exasperated. _

_"Ok, I am stopping this conversation. You are clearly not thinking straight." Eli said, he didn't like the way the conversation was going. _

_"Do you love me?" she asked. _

_"What? Are you seriously asking me this right now?" _

_"I am dead serious," and Eli believed she was. _

_But he couldn't be honest with her, not right now. _

_"Not now Clare, please not now." Eli pleaded with her. _

_"Then when Eli? It's a simple yes or no." Clare said. _

_"Don't do this, Clare," he said. _

_"I'm tired of this," she said. "I love you with all my heart. See, I can say it."_

_She loved him? Eli felt his heart drop at her words, wishing he had more control over his metal stability to be able to say those same words back. _

_"I understand if its hard to be happy knowing someone you love isn't with you. But it feels like you are not making an effort. Don't you see that this is creating a hole between us that keeps getting bigger….and I don't think I can pretend its not a big deal." Clare said._

_'What are you saying?" Eli asked, dreading her answer. He wasn't expecting the conversation to take a turn like this. _

_"You were right, maybe we should of stayed away from each other." Clare said, and Eli knew she fully meant those words. _

_And he panicked. _

_"Clare, not now. I know I can't be completely honest with my feelings right now. But I do care, I truly do. Just give me more time." Eli held on to Clare's shoulders, she just had to wait a little longer. _

_"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't think my heart is strong enough." _

_He watched turn and walk away, with unshed tears in her eyes. It took Eli 5 seconds to realize, he wasn't going to make the same mistake of not chasing after someone. _

_Hurrying to catch up to her, he ran through the store. Outside, he was almost to her, when he saw the car and a oblivious Clare moving in its path. _

**_Not again..._**

_"CLARE!" he screamed, and mad a spring in enough time to push her out of the way. _

_**Not her..**  
_

_He was impacted by the car instead, taking the wind out of him and knocking him to the ground. _

_Everything felt like it was in slow motion. He hardly remember hitting the floor, his body was in shock. _

_"Eli!" _

_That was Clare, that was her voice. Why did she sound like she was so far away?_

_"Help!" she screamed. "Somebody help us!"_

_How ironic, that a car accident had killed his girlfriend, and now it would kill him. But at least it wasn't Clare lying on the ground and injured. All that mattered was that Clare was saved._

_**I guess I'll see you soon Julia...**  
_

_He could see Clare's face above him, tear stained and worried. He wanted to wipe each tear away._

_"Clare," **…I love you.**_

_He was sure of it now, but felt like it was to late. _

**

* * *

**

**AN: Whoa, yea this chapter took me awhile. I wanted to give you guys a solid chapter and I hope it meets your expectations. I want to thank everyone who reviewed my story and added me to their favorites list. Each time I got a new review it made me smile. Give me your thoughts on this chapter, what you liked, what you didn't like, anything! You follow me on twitter or tumblr under the name LovelyVerity. **

PS- I still haven't found a Beta reader (so sorry for the grammar mistakes, I swear I read this chapter a million times to correct stuff) So if you are interested let me know!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: The music selection for this chapter is _It's Just me by Blue October_, I would recommend finding the track on youtube and playing it as you read this chapter, enjoy!

Disclamer: Yea...I do not own Degrassi.

* * *

Eli's Mom had explained to both Clare and Adam that the doctors where looking for a blood donor for Eli. His parents had gotten their blood tested already and were just waiting for the results.

"I want to get tested," Clare told Adam. "What if his parents aren't a match?"

"Come on, lets both get tested." Adam said; determined to help his injured friend in anyway possible. They couldn't sit back and do nothing, even if they weren't a match. At least they could rule themselves out.

.

.

_I lost a piece of me in you;_

_I think I left it in your arms._

Eli couldn't tell when he was conscious or not, everything had a dream like feel to it, knowing that the heavy medication was probably partly to blame.

Even in his numb state, he could feel the weakness of his body, and he knew that the battle had just begun.

He hazily remembered someone talking about a blood transfusion. It was also confirmed that his left arm was indeed broken. While his ribs might just be bruised, the cut on the left side of his chest was deep and was the main cause for the majority of his blood loss.

He was in a shitty condition. His understanding, from what he gathered, was that the blood transfusion was crucial to getting him stabilized.

Did he regret what he did? Never, not when it meant saving Clare from this…he would do it a hundred times if he had to.

_I forget the reasons I got scared,_

_But remember that I cared quite a lot._

Clare was finally allowed to go in into Eli's ICU room, after getting tested to see if she was a match.

She tried not choking up when she was there with him, but her whole heart broke just by looking at him. The thought of loosing him, made it impossible for her to breathe. She understood now…truly understood what Eli's battle with Julia was like. She couldn't help but think that if Eli where to die, she sincerely would not be able to overcome the pain that it would bring her. He needed time and all she had done was be a jealous girlfriend.

Clare approached the bedside, noting how his face held a peaceful expression, but was pale and bruised from where his face had made impact with the ground.

Clare held back her tears, but her guilt was too much to bear, and she couldn't hold them back anymore.

_You see but lately I've been on my own._

_Yeah one, but one by choice._

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry," her voice stronger this time.

Eli faintly heard Clare speaking. Not really making out if she was a dream or if she was truly speaking next to him.

Either way, he gave a mental sigh of relief, for being able to hear her voice. Although he couldn't respond to her because of a lack of strength.

_And I'll find a way to make it,_

_There's no one left to stop me._

_Here I go._

_Can we take it from the top?_

"I should of given you time, you asked for time…I should have been more patient," Clare felt that she need to get this out. "You can't leave us Eli. You have to get better."

Eli couldn't help but think what the point of living was, if he couldn't be with Clare.

He wanted to reach over, to let her know he could hear her, to comfort her, and wipe the tears from her eyes.

"This is my fault," Clare sobbed "If I hadn't been so careless, you wouldn't be here. I hurt you Eli, I so sorry. I don't think I can't ever forgive myself."

_So why so long?_

_So sad, I wanna be strong._

_**"No, Clare don't blame yourself. If I where to die, you have to live to the fullest, don't let anything whole you back, you shouldn't live with the guilt. I wouldn't want you to-" **_he could only speak these words to himself, but upon thinking them, he had finally realized something.

Julia would have wanted the same for him… would have wanted him to live life, to not hold back. But all he had been doing was wallow in his guilt.

_**I'm sorry Julia, I think I get it now….**_

_Don't try to take this from me._

_I'm already spent living half my life undone_

_**I may not have been there to save you Julia, but I was with Clare, and I want to make it right. **_

_**I want to live. I want to love Clare…**_

_I've been talking to my aunts and uncles, mom and dad again._

_I've been finding out that I have what this world calls friends._

"Clare?"

Clare turned to find Eli's mom by the door way. She followed her into the hallway.

"You are a match sweetie." she said, her voice small and hopeful.

"I am?" and Clare couldn't help but be hopeful too.

Eli's mom couldn't hold her smile back as she gave Clare a nod in respond. "Come on, the nurse needs you to go with her."

"I'll be right out," Clare told her. She went back into the room with Eli. "I don't know if you can hear me, but you are going to get better soon."

She leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

"Just hold on a little longer. …I love you"

With a quick glance back at him, she left the room, leaving Eli to think in his half-conscious state.

_I'm gonna feel a peace in me,_

_I'm gonna feel at home._

_I'm gonna make this cloud above me disappear, be gone._

_I wanna feel a punch inside, my heart beat on the floor._

_I don't wanna hurt no more._

_**I will never forget you Julia…But I'm going to let go now**_

Feeling a weight off his shoulders, Eli let himself fall asleep, with the thought of hopefully finding Clare next to him when he wakes up again.

_Yeah it's just me._

_It's just me_

_And I'll find a way to make it._

_There's no one left to stop me._

_Here I go, can we take it from the top?_

_

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AN: Hope you guys enjoyed it, next chapter will be the last for this story, don't worry I will not take as long to put it up as I did with this one. I know that this chapter had a few cheesy moments, hopefully they weren't to unbareable. Let me know what you thought! Leave me a review, and in your review, if you have any ideas of what kinda story you would like me to write after this one let me know! Special thanks to **CassiDegrassi **for beta-ing this chapter, and thanks to all of you who reviewed chapter 3! Your reviews are what make my day, since it makes me happy to hear that you are enjoying my story. See you next time! ^_^


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